Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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