from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you never un-have a 4some
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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