lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
