...so i touched it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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