he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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