ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
