I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
