If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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