am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize