I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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