I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
