Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This is my gift to your gina
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize