I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
