so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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