i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
