Can Purell be used as lube?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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