did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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