please come you make the beer taste better
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
