proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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