Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
