i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
