Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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