I am in a vortex of obligation.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize