a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
