Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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