Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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