If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
