I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
handjob tips. give me some.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
