He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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