I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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