By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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