YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
