So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
