ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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