I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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