I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
