This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
