Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
