I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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