I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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