shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
