Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
