God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
...so i touched it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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