Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
