I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
