sarcasm needs its own font
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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