I skipped work to stalk him.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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