So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
