I feel like abortions should bother me more
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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