but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We don't watch enough power rangers
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
