come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
