You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
