I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
as a side note pls kill me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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