Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
