If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
