can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
