I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
