His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
