what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
