she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
PANTIES FOUND
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