If that was your dad, he is hot
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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