Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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