Apparently you make a good broom.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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