I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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